THE RISE OF PHONE SEX

It was 11: 47pm and the night was cold. Only the chirping insects and rustling leaves helped the atmosphere alive. Few students were in the reading hall, trying to get some academic tasks done. Ifeoma Ikedi (not real name), who claimed to have gone for night class, is lying freely on a grass in front of the basement at the University of Benin (UNIBEN).

Soon, she stars a giddy, slow conversation that later turns into a romantic exchange. After some grunting and moaning, she soon convulses in an orgasmic experience. Adolescence and young adulthood are said to be a stage of extreme exuberances. It is that phase of life where increased physical and psychological changes happen in the human body. Most times, many things go wrong during the period. And like Ifeoma, many undergraduates seem to have found a better way to channel this bubbling energy.

On one hand, technological revolution has exposed many to unsuitable contents which are readily available at the tip of their fingers. This has been identified as promoting pornography and other cyber-related crimes. But as interest in surfing the internet for obscene materials seems to be waning, phone sex has become a stock in trade. Those who claim to forbid the practice are tagged “out–of-date”. Social networking sites currently fan these flames and facilitate easy exchange among users.

On the other hand, network providers also feed the alarm. The potpourris of free mid-night calls enjoyed by subscribers make it possible for long and free hours of conversation.

CAMPUSLIFE sought to know what, indeed, is phone sex. How is it practiced? And what happens after the act? Investigations revealed that phone sex starts with a sexually-stimulating chat on phone between partners. Sometimes, the number of partners could be more than two. This is often called a three – some, four- some and so on. A partner gets himself into an erotic conversation with his mate(s). Simple openers like “what are you wearing…” could set the stage. Here, distance is never a barrier. Participants take the pain to be as explicit as possible by expressing steamy desires and sharing details of sexual fantasies.

On why students are involved in the practice, it was learnt that phone sex is a powerful way of keeping a long distance relationship. It can get two lovers intimate, irrespective of their locations. This is the view of Government Akpomhiemhie, a student of the Delta state University (DELSU).

Government, who claimed to be dating a girl schooling at UNIPORT, said: “Long distant relationships seldom turn out successful. Constant intimacy is crucial. For me, I like being around my woman often. But because we school at different places, we hardly get to see. Personally, it has dug deep holes in my pockets due to my phone expenses.  I love her and I don’t want to cheat on her. So, talking her up through phone sex seems to be the only way to keep the fire burning.” 

Our investigations revealed that a phone sex partner may not necessary be one’s boyfriend or girlfriend. It could be a “freelancer” who only wants a “fair share of the fling”. CAMPUSLIFE also chatted with some girls on the 2go social network for a period  of three months. With a pseudo name on the chat engine, our reporter who claimed to be a girl managed to break every resistance to engage the girls. 

One of the girls whose name is withheld, identified boredom and lack of attention from her boyfriend as the reason she engages in the act. “For me, it’s the best way to cool off and maintain some sanity. Sometimes, I need attention and there is nobody to ‘help’ out. My new boyfriend usually claimed to be busy and we often do not get to see. As a woman, I don’t want to come off as cheap. You know how it is…. I believe I shouldn’t be the one initiating sex. He is supposed to do that, not me.

She was willing to share her naked pictures with this correspondent. In the same vein, an Abia State University (ABSU) student who met this reporter on facebook   cited the surge in sexually transmitted diseases and male infidelity as reasons she embraced in the practice.

She said: “The alarming rate of HIV/ AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) should make every sane person exercise control over their sexual urges. Of course, whether you are a mother Theresa or not, you are bond to have sexual urges from time to time. Phone sex is safe and shields you from the dangers of unsafe sex. This is because it is a make-believe act that does not require actual intimacy. Again, boys would always be Casanovas, preying on innocent girls at will. With phone sex, I do not only end up satisfying myself, I equally shield my heart from heartbreaks and infections”.

In a 2007 report by Nigeria Tribune, Dr. Adewale Oguntuase said: “Masturbation” (by phone or self-stimulation) is an act that must be resisted and those already into it should find a way to stop it because it has harmful effects on the body, especially the brain.” 

Speaking to CAMPUSLIFE in confidence, a female health practitioner at the University of Benin Health Centre (UBHC) decried the development as “the height of perversion caused by a culture of warped values and abuse of technology.” She added that young people who engaged in phone sex only expose themselves to depression and other serious nervous problems.   

A leader at The Love Family, a campus fellowship at UNIBEN, Shittu Sunday, said masturbation by any means amounts to self defilement which is condemnable by the Holy Bible. He added that phone sex destroys the spiritual vitality of a Christian.

“The Bible clearly commands that we should not defile the temple of the Living God and that temple, of course, is our body,” he submitted.